> For the complete documentation index, see [llms.txt](https://wiki.stoicfellowship.com/llms.txt). Markdown versions of documentation pages are available by appending `.md` to page URLs; this page is available as [Markdown](https://wiki.stoicfellowship.com/wiki/exercises/roles-relationships-and-speech/avoid-gossip.md).

# Avoid Gossip

Refuse to pass along unverified or needless claims about absent people

> **Also known as:** Avoid Gossip

> **Practice basis:** Ancient instruction with a modern title

Refuse to pass along unverified or needless claims about absent people.

## At a Glance

* **Use when:** Conversation invites you to discuss an absent person's character or private affairs.
* **Trains:** justice, restraint, and factual speech
* **Time:** One to ten minutes.
* **Timing:** Before or during the relevant situation.

## Purpose

Gossip turns another person's reputation into entertainment and invites assent to claims we often cannot verify. Epictetus warns against frequent talk about people and against joining in blame (*Enchiridion* 33). The exercise is stricter than merely avoiding lies. A true detail may still be private, irrelevant, or unjust to repeat.

**Core Stoic Skill:** Justice, restraint, and factual speech in conversation.

## How to Practice

1. **Pause before repeating.** Ask whether you know the claim to be true.
2. **Test its purpose.** Determine whether sharing it serves a real duty or only curiosity and status.
3. **Protect the absent person.** Do not say what you could not fairly say in that person's presence.
4. **Redirect responsibly.** Change the subject, ask for direct conversation, or report through the proper channel when action is required.

## Example: A Rumor at Work

A colleague tells you why an absent coworker was supposedly removed from a project. You do not ask for more or pass it on. If the issue affects your work, you seek the necessary facts from the responsible person without repeating the rumor.

## Common Mistakes

* **Concealing danger or misconduct as 'avoiding gossip.'** Report material concerns through an appropriate channel.
* **Repeating a claim with a disclaimer.** “I don't know if this is true” does not make transmission just.
* **Sharing true but needless private information.** Truth is necessary; it is not always sufficient.
* **Correcting gossip with more gossip.** Address the claim without adding speculation.
* **Enjoying the story silently while claiming innocence.** Withdraw attention as well as speech.

## In-the-Moment Phrases

* “Is it true, necessary, and mine to tell?”
* “Speak as if the person were present.”

## Optional Reflection

Use these questions for journaling or quiet contemplation. Writing is optional.

* What desire was my speech trying to satisfy?
* What would better speech have served?

## Source Anchors

* Epictetus, *Enchiridion* 33.2, 33.14–16
* Marcus Aurelius, *Meditations* 8.61

## Related Exercises

* [Speak Little and Well](/wiki/exercises/roles-relationships-and-speech/speak-little-and-well.md)
* [Reframing Insults](/wiki/exercises/roles-relationships-and-speech/reframing-insults.md)


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